Tuesday, 30 October 2012

The Huffington Post punked by Doug Stanhope

Source: dougstanhope.com

The Huffington Post is making great strides in their quest of destroying whatever is left of journalism.  It would be hillarious if they weren't making bucket loads of money in the process.

You'd think after several original bloggers were spooked by Arianna money hoarding ways, nobody would want to want to touch that horrid organisation with a 10 feet pole.  But there appears to be no end of losers lining up to contribute to the destruction of what was once a noble profession.

One such person is somebody by the name of Mike Ragogna.  He proved that he has no business calling himself a journalist or interviewing people last week when he mixed up interviewee's numbers and called comedian Doug Stanhope instead of the Sex Pistols' John Lydon, was told that he had called the wrong number and did not heed the advice and proceeded to conduct the interview.  Doug Stanhope, being a comedian, saw this as a comedic opportunity and - although The Huffington Post have destroyed all the evidence of the interview - somebody managed to record the audio.  Here it is for your listening experience.

Maybe they should stick to slideshows of Kim Kardashian's ass.  I hear it's huge and she instagrams her pictures every hour.  There's very little margin for error there.

Monday, 29 October 2012

Moneyweb sexist headline fail

Those guys who occupy skyscrapers, wear nice suits and spend all day watching the stock prices and predict share price performances are so funny aren't they?

They are so evolved they think that we've only just made it into the 50's and only men consume their product and they own their women.  Thanks for the confirmation that even some of the seemingly well educated people do indulge in casual sexism.

Well fellas, to answer your question, I do hope she gets herself some decent knickers.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Good Morning Ulster Jimmy Savile text fail

Since it was revealed that one of their favourite sons, the late Jimmy Saville was responsible for countless cases of sexual abuse on underage girls, the BBC has been in damage control mode.  So much so that when a prankster sent in a text to BBC Ulster, the presenter just read it out without a second though in an effort to get that much sought after contrary view.

With hilarious consequences.

Monday, 22 October 2012

News24 Voices editing fail

One of News24's opinion sections that has a lot of good writers and equally impressive number of clicks is News24Voices.  One of their good writers, and I think they're luck to have her, is Mandy Roussouw and as brilliant as I think she is, even she needs to be edited.

I'm afraid I'll never know why she finds the suggestion that the DA and Great Britain clandestinely plotting to depose the ANC government laughable because the piece is so badly written/edited I couldn't read past the first paragraph.

Daily Mail pulling the "bully" card

The Daily Mail wants you to know that it's the most read online news publication in the world, althought the New York Times is still disputing this claim, but they appear to be completely ignorant of the internet itself.  Because of the illusion of anonymity that comes with being able to spew bile to potentially billions of people from behind your keyboard, what you get online is human being at their most vicious.

Throw social media into the mix, you people trying to attract the attention of celebrities 24/7 by either

Sunday, 21 October 2012

Huffington Post Twitter Fail

In an attempt to be snobbish about Jersey Shore, The Huffington Post revealed themselves to be employing semi-literate people.  And to answer their question, no Jersey Shore doesn't make me depressed as I've never watched it, but their grammar does.

Absolute Radio Twitter chat fail

listen to ‘Vicki Blight clearly needed more coffee this morning...’ on Audioboo

I think it's safe to say that Absolute Radio's Vicki Blight will never use the words twitter and chat in the same sentence again.  Fortunately for her Absolute Radio listeners are a fun bunch and I don't think any of them will feign offence and complain to Ofcom.

Keep it up Vicki, I need more of this audio.

Saturday, 20 October 2012

EWN and "condoning" rape fail

In Premedia's EWN story about Hawks spokesperson Mcintosh Polela apparently facing disciplinary action, they quote an SAPS official as saying that they (SAPS) "condone rape issues".

Either the journalist missed "not" before condone, in which case it's a poorly constructed sentence or that's what the statement said and they quoted it verbatim, either way, it's very poor form from people who claim to be in touch and in tune.

SAFM podcasts fail

21/10/2012 - My recorder failed to record so I can't upload the podcast this week.  We'll try and rectify the problem for next week.

The SABC is defiantly refusing to step into the 21st century.  It's supposed to do all the things that commercial broadcasters either can't or won't do because they're not financially viable.  We then all chip in with the stealth tax commonly known as the TV licence fee and should be getting great programmes for it not the dross that populate the terrestrial channels.  Radio is not much better either.

If you're not a spotty teenager who wants to dance himself to exhaustion, you're out of luck if you don't leave in Gauteng or Western Cape as your only option for talk radio is SAFM.  And I've found it patchy at best.

Thursday, 18 October 2012

The New Age Jerm cartoons fail

Since the words in newspapers are pretty much obsolete now, cartoons, especially good ones provide a ray of sunshine everytime I pick up a tree murdering newspaper.  Not only because of their ability to sum up the general mood of the readers but can make really bold statements and mitigate them with humour.  This is why I was saddened to hear that the ANC house journal The New Age had terminated their contract with their cartoonist, Jeremy Nell because his political cartoons were "not aligned with the paper's vision and mission"

I have never actually seen The New Age paper with my naked eye so I only read his website and if the rejected cartoons are anything go on, the writing has been on the wall for a long time. It's also astounding that the editor of what is supposed to be a national daily newspaper doesn't "like cartoons that make political judgements or statements" tells everything you need to know about his organ.

Zapiro put it well, if you read that newspaper look forward to "non-thinking cartoons".  I do hope Jerm gets another gig where he'd be allowed to do what he does best.  I'd say letting him go would TNA's loss, but that would be to assume that they wanted funny and thought-provoking cartoons to start with.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Wyclef Jean aggrandizing fail

Not exactly media but 20 years ago, paparazi would have had to climb fences to get a picture like this, but today celebrities tweet them out themselves directly to their fans and non-fans alike; and newspapers just grab and reprint them too, so this is the future of media and we're just a few years ahead of our time.

What they've yet to master is writing sentences that don't make them sound like sanctimonious assholes.  Case in point:  Wyclef Jean tweeting the above picture to let the world know that he's celebrating his 43rd birthday and that he's in good shape.  But he can't resist firing off an "inspirational quote", standard MO for celebrities because they must always inspire at every waking moment of their lives.  The inspirational tweet: "U cant keep à good Man down! Keep à smile when they want you to frown!"

Well, Mr Jean, if you happen to come across such a Man, please send him our way.

Mcintosh Polela, lazy journalism and faux outrage

I've always maintained that what happens on twitter should not constitute news.  That's where people go to live their lives in the parallel universe of cyberspace.  Journalists themselves insist that they tweet their personal views and  but it seems they don't offer the same courtesy to other people.  If you have a public profile, your tweets will be associated with your job; especially if they happen to not chime with their sensibilities.  

At least that's what Hawks spokesperson, Mcintosh Polela found out yesterday when he tweeted:

Admittedly it's not a happy-clappy tweet, which is the preferred twitter tone for public figures, but if you don't share his dark sense of humour, you'd just wince and move on.  Not if you're a lazy journalist looking for a cheap story to send to a news agency and knowing that news websites will lap it up and stir up some sort of scandal.  Predictably, two news sites have already published the SAPA story and moralists are queueing up to either express outrage and or demand and apology.

If only we journalists could tackle real news with the same amount of enthusiasm, maybe we wouldn't have a small amount of people robbing the country blind while the majority languish in abject poverty.  Somebody once said freedom of speech is wasted on South Africans and I fear they may have been right.

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

ENCA Jub Jub Silkour interview fail

Quite why the Jub Jub trial ended up as the media circus it became maybe a topic for another day, but when the verdict was read out this morning I expected rolling news channels to get legal professionals to explore his options.  I was too optimistic, as it turned out, the opinion of some rapper by the name of Slikour was deemed to be more valuable by ENCA.

I don't know what's worst, having this guy on or having the semi-literate anchor attempt to quiz him on what should be done to prevent similar tragedies from occurring in the future.  If you can't get through the hot air, here's the punch line: It's not Jub Jub's fault that he killed kids, it's the society's fault because we don't train people how to deal with success.  Sending a convicted killer to prison constitutes two wrongs because "what human wants another to be locked up".  You couldn't make it up.

As if that was not enough, he then proceeded to take his crusade to twitter where he was rebuked.

A quick search reveals that this guy is a renowned attention seeker and it all begins to makes sense.  He was invited in hope that he'll say something stupid and he didn't disappoint.  A few years ago this would have prompted outrage, but the lack of outrage may be the new outrage.

YFM #JubJubPrisonSongs fail

Source: news24.com

UPDATE: 16/10/2012 17:07

Yfm has since deleted the tweet presumably owing to the weight of twitter criticism.  How very brave?

Barely a few minutes after the Jub Jub verdict handed down, Yfm took to twitter to urge their listeners to suggest songs to be dedicated to him.

See, Yfm is really edgy and rebellious, not even the murder of four kids can escape their satirical lens.  The are really anti-establishment and whoever said South Africans are too polite has never had the privilege to listen to this esteemed station.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Huffington Post pervy Paris Jackson tweet

I can't help but think that a lot of media outlet have set their alarms for Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris 18th birthday when it will be acceptable to publish her near naked picture (if she doesn't tweet them herself).

But the Huffington Post seems to be more eager than the rest of the pack.  They've been tweeting a link to her picture the whole weekend with the same refrain: "she does NOT look 14".

To which I say "you just wish she was 4 years older".

Was Unathi dismissed or suspended, City Press?

City Press either don't think that the people who read the Entertainment section of their website can distinguish between the words "dismissed" and "suspended" or they just don't care.  According to my dictionary:

Dismiss -

1. Order or allow to leave; send away
2. Discharge from employment or office.

Suspend -

1. Temporarily prevent from continuing or being in force or effect

Why would they have a headline "Unathi dismissed" - which implies that she has been discharged from her duties - and go on to say she has been suspended later on in the same article?  It maybe the work of the subs to make sure the headline and the sub headline are in agreement, but a quick search in their website reveals that the journalist has a history of non stories so it may be par for the course.

Maybe I'm just being a prude and the target market doesn't mind being mislead but in the increasingly squeezed newspaper market that's infested with free writers and where celebrities break their own stories, you'd think paid writers would do better than this.

Friday, 12 October 2012

TMZ and some rapper wearing 3 chainz not 2

With the plethora of celebrities and people who have sex on camera and try to attain fame at the back of coming and leaving LAX, you'd think TMZ will be inundated with material to put up to their repugnant website.  But they reached a new low a few weeks ago when some hip hop person by the name 2 Chainz was out doing whatever someone called 2 Chainz would get up to and one thing seemed out of place.

Hey TMZ, let us know how many chainz he's wearing today.  We're really dying to know.

Joe Biden, The Daily Mail and bullying

Last night US Vice President Joe Biden locked horns with Mitt Romney's running mate on the Republican Party ticket, Paul Ryan, in a debate.  And they josled around and tried to outwit each other, you know, as a debate is supposed to unfold.  But the right wing media has gone all out to accuse Biden of being "disrespectful".

Funnily enough, these purveyors of politeness saw nothing wrong with Mitt Romney implying that President Obama was lying and likening him to his sons last week.  But one of their allies went a step further: they accused Biden of bullying.  That's a bit rich, coming from The Daily Mail.  Maybe we should remind them of all those TV starlets who have to endure their taunts on the daily basis because they've gained weight or they had the temerity to go to the shops without putting on make up.

Huge fail, Daily Mail.

The Star and Zuma penis drawing


When Jacob Zuma decided to take a break from impersonating a president and talk about a subject that's very close to his heart, sex, to a group of unfortunate school kids yesterday, nobody could have forseen the hilarity that was to grace front page of The Star today.

The nice boys and girls at The Star thought they'll let this picture adorn the their front page and accompany their leading story, which may have been a commentary to this painting.  It's not really a fail if they chose this picture deliberately but if it was an oversight, then it's a huge own goal.  It's chucklesome to the rest of us.

People will speculate as to Mr Zumas's suitability to dish out sex advice given his track record.  All I know is should the youth choose to take it, shower manufacturers will suddenly find themselves having a lot of demand for their products.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Media Pass: Gawker on Hulk Hogan sex tape

After months of speculation, Gawker has finaly done the right thing and put a lot of people out of their misery and released an edited version of the Hulk Hogan sex tape along with a play by play transcript of the event.  Understandably, Hulk is threatening to sue them and there has been no certainty as to the identity of the woman, until now.

Hogan appeared on The Howard Stern Show this morning and revealed that his co-star is indeed his friend Bubba The Love Sponge's ex-wife, Heather.  Apparently, Bubba and his wife were on Hulk's case for two years until he finaly caved in.  "Heather was relentless", Hulk told Stern.

I've always known that I'm friends with the wrong kind of people.  Nobody has ever asked me bang their wife, let alone a supermodel type like Heather.  So let this be know, friends, I'm totally available for something like this.  Thank you Gawker, your excellent work is duly noted.

Monday, 8 October 2012

Media Fail: Jennifer Livingston

Jennifer Livingston, a fat TV anchor woman based somewhere in rural America received an e-mail from an idiotic viewer who objected to her weight and feigned disappointment in her and blamed her for being a bad role model to young girls.  Everyone who is in the public eye will get a certain amount of criticism directed at them; I do and I'm at the very low level of what you'd call media.

TV is a visual medium and people are always going to pick on you if you are not thin and sport a Hollywood smile, you'll get negative feedback.  But to claim that you're being bullied and jump on the anti-bullying month (or whatever it's called) is just downright disingenuous.  If Ms Livingston had not read the e-mail on air, only she would know about it.  But she knew exactly what she was doing.  She wanted to get her large frame on every TV screen and command column inches with the bleeding hearts opining on how awful the e-mail sender is.

The media became it's own biggest audience again, as they always tend to be.  In unison, they all claimed that she's a victim but nobody called her out when the man who sent the e-mail was tracked down and hounded by news outlets and had cameras shoved into his face.

So Jennifer, you're fat, you're on TV, you decided to read the e-mail on air.  You were not bullied and no amount of photo shoots and in talk show couches is going to change that.  All the people who are suddenly interested in you are just taking advantage of a viral video not your bravery.

While the media eats itself to extinction, it might be a good idea for Ms Livingston to step away from the fridge if she's to reap the full benefits of her 15 minutes.

T-bo Touch, tripe and the building

Pic: thenewage.co.za

Online racist hatemongers took time off their ANC hating afternoons yesterday to join in the mocking of a story that was off the Sunday Sun about American wannabe T-bo Touch was fined $75 for cooking tripe and stinking up a block of flat in New York City.  Presumably he's there to top up his dodgy American accent that, as you can hear in the clip below, is all over the place.

The elephant in the room, of course, is nobody seems to be asking how the newspaper found out about his misfortune.  None of the websites that followed up seem to have enquired either;  they were just too happy to harvest the clicks they got as a result of copying and pasting the Sunday Sun story.  It's not as if the NYC police are going to call a tabloid in South Africa and tell them that some guy is cooking something that smells very bad so one can only surmise that either he or someone in his camp called the newspaper, in which case it's not really news.

But as your boy puts it, it's all about patriotism.  The accent may elude him but he seems to have taken to their jingoism like a duck to water.

Here's a promo idea for his abysmal radio show: "your boy's in the building, and the odour preceds him."

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Khaya Mthethwa against booing Melissa

Black South Africans risked bankruptcy by running huge phone bills voting for Khaya Mthethwa and made him the first black winner of Idols SA.  During the final results episodes he and fellow finalist Melissa Allison perfomed and Allison was booed, presumably by Khaya's fans.

News24 must have assumed that Khaya either put them up to it or he approved of the booing, judging by this story.  Yes.  They thought it warranted not a line in his overall feel good story but it's own story that he's not okay Who would have thunk it, a nice Christian boy Khaya does not approve of people booing his competitors?  I think it would have been a story if he had said he was all for it.

Here's a lead for a story news24, ask the leaders of the G8 nations where they stand on poverty.  I hear they have very left field views on the subject.